If you’ve ever tried to improve yourself or your life in anyway, and if you’re like most people, then you’ve probably noticed it isn’t easy to do.
New Year’s resolutions are pretty easy to make jokes about because so many people make them and break them. Gym memberships sky rocket at the beginning of the year only to have the same few dedicated souls who were there the whole year before sweating it out by the time February rolls around. We all know this is true, but why? Why is transformation so hard sometimes?
One reason I think is that the alternative to getting or doing better is just so much easier. Generally, it’s easy to do nothing. Or, it’s easy to do what you’ve always done, to keep being the same way you’ve always been or doing the same things you’ve always done. We can get in bad habits easily and it’s much tougher to break a bad habit than it is to form a good one.
But another reason that we probably don’t think about as often is that we may not even be aware we need to change. It’s generally true we normally hold others to a higher standard than we hold ourselves. It’s not because we’re all eager beavers to point out everyone else’s faults, it’s just that we know ourselves and our intentions and (we think) we rarely intend or mean to be rude, critical, hateful, uncaring, uncompassionate and so on. When I come across as rude, I know I didn’t mean to be that way because I know my heart and I don’t think I’m a mean person. But when someone else is rude to me, it’s easy for me to jump to conclusions and assume they’re the mean one. You see where this leaves us? Compared to this another person, I don’t think I have a problem, they do! And so I don’t need to change, they do!
To borrow a line from James 3:10, “Brothers and sisters, this ought not be so!”
I think Scripture makes clear that we have the capability of choosing right from wrong; Ephesians 4—6 are all about how Paul believes the Christian can be empowered by God to overcome sin and be transformed into Christ-likeness. But Scripture is also clear that sin has seriously affected us nonetheless; just look at Ephesians 4:17-19. What I mean is that without God’s help, without His Holy Spirit working in our lives to overcome what sin has done to our capacity to choose righteousness and flee from evil, we will never experience the transformation God longs to see in His people, to see in our lives.
So what can we do? A complete answer would take much longer than is appropriate for a blog post, so let me suggest a few things. First, give God something to work with! Jesus talked all the time about how the Kingdom of God is like a seed that is planted and will bear fruit (see Mark 4; Matthew 13). To bear fruit though, the seed needs good soil. Here are some easy recommendations which I fleshed out a little bit more in my sermon from February 4, 2018.
There’s a lot of evil out there, but concentrate on the evil in here. If we recognize that we probably have just as much spiritual growing to do as those whom we like to criticize (politicians, celebrities, coworkers), we can start to take the first step toward letting God work in our own lives. James 4:10 reminds us, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”
Ask God to want to want to grow. This isn’t a typo. We could all say, Sure I want to grow! But I think more often than not, if we’re really being honest, we don’t actually want to take the time or effort to do so. Well, tell God that! He knows anyway so you might as well be honest about it. Tell Him you don’t want this because it’s difficult or you’re unsure what will happen. But if you ask Him to help change WHAT you want, to start wanting the desire to change, He will oblige. This has been true in my own life.
Don’t compare yourself to some future version of yourself. It’s easy to dream up your ideal self, and it’s just as easy to get completely discouraged when you consistently don’t achieve that. If transformation is hard enough, why make it harder on yourself? Instead, set a measurable goal: compare yourself today with how you were yesterday. You know how you were yesterday, or last week, but you don’t know how you will be tomorrow or in a week. So make your measurement to grow in Christ-likeness more today than you did yesterday.
These steps are only a few ideas that can be put into practice. There are plenty of others that will also work.
But if we want to experience the growth God offers you through His indwelling Holy Spirit, we have to give Him room to work.
– Kevin
Thanks for pointing out that transformation is hard since we are so used to doing our old ways. I have been feeling down lately and I think that I cannot change and improve myself. I guess I should look for a book on Monday that can help me find peace and hope for a brighter day. https://5tomidnightmusic.com/our-book
Hello nichcofc.com admin, Thanks for the well-organized and comprehensive post!